If I had a million galleons....
by METMA Mandy
Summary: Ron sings *gag* about being rich and buying Hermione's love. to the tune of "if i had a million dollars" by BNL. read/review PLEASE! GO METMA! ^-^


A/N: Mmkay, to FULLY get this, you need to hear the song "If i had a million dollars" by the bestest band on earth, BARENAKED LADIES (they aren't bare, naked, or ladies! ^-^) so go download it! but you can laugh it up anyway! so enjoy, and go read my other song parody/fic Baby got Scar! JOIN METMA! WOOO!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own HP or BNL!  
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*Ron stands in the middle of a well-lighted stage with a colorful backround and wistfully sings about being rich and buying Hermione's love. He has several back-up singers (including Harry and Hermione), becuase his voice cracks. A lot. Like a cartonful of eggs just fell of the table. SPLAT!!*  
  
Ron: If I had a million galleons  
(If I had a million galleons)  
I'd buy you a wand (i would buy you a wand)   
If I had a million galleons  
(If i had a million galleons)   
I'd buy you a cool racing broom  
(Maybe a nice Firebolt or a Nimbus)  
  
_Hermione: But Ron, I HATE to fly!_  
  
If i had a million galleons  
(if i had a million galleons)  
I'd buy you an invisibility cloak (a nice way to sneak out and see me!)  
  
_Hermione: *blushes* Ron, that's against the rules!  
_  
If i had a million galleons i'd buy your love  
  
If I had a million galleons  
I'd build a tree castle in our yard  
If I had a million galleons  
Harry could help, it wouldn't be that hard  
If I had a million galleons  
Maybe we could bewitch a little tiny fridge in there somewhere  
We could just go up and open the fridge... and there'd be little pre-wrapped chocolate frogs laid out for us!  
  
Harry: They have pre-wrapped frogs but they dont have pre-wrapped tadpoles!  
  
Ron:...i mean, can ya blame em?  
  
Harry: Well, yeah!  
  
If I had a million galleons  
(if I had a million galleons)  
I'd buy you a fur cloak (but not a REAL fur cloak, that's cruel!)  
  
_Hermione: Can you imagine the number of house elves that would take to make?...._  
  
if i had a million gallleons   
(if i had a million galleons)  
I'd buy you an exotic pet (but NOT a rat who's a PERSON!)  
if I had a million galleons  
(if I had a million galleons)  
I'd buy you Grindelwald's remains (oh all them crazy burnt-up bones)  
  
_Harry: Yeah, well I'd pay for Voldemort's if you could get 'em!  
Ron: DONT SAY THE NAME!_  
  
if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love  
  
If I had a million galleons  
we wouldn't have to apparate to Diagon Alley  
if I had a million galleons  
we'd use Floo Powder 'cause it coooosts more  
if I had a million galleons  
we wouldn't have to eat SlimWiz dinners!  
  
Hermione: But we _would _eat SlimWiz dinners, we'd just eat more!  
And pay the house elves to do it..yeah, only the best PAID house elves!   
  
*Ron rolls eyes but keeps going*  
  
If I had a million galleons   
(if I had a million galleons)  
I'd buy myself a dress cloak (but not a ruffly one, that's CRUEL!)  
  
_Harry: Amen..._  
  
if i had a million galleons   
(if i had a million galleons)  
I'd buy you some books (a dictionary or a history!)  
  
_Hermione: aw, Ron, THANKS! *smooch*_  
  
Ron: *blushes*  
if I had a million galleons   
(if I had a million galleons)  
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)  
  
_Hermione: o.O a MONKEY? Ummm....YEAHH...._  
  
if i had a million galleons I'd buy your love  
  
if i had a million galleons   
if i had a million galleons  
if i had a million galleons  
if i had a million galleons  
I'd be rich!!  
  
*Ron holds the last syllable with painstaking shrillness.*  
  
Ron: Too bad that can't happen. You love me anyway, don't you Hermione?  
  
Hermione: Dude, I'm not going out with you til you get me some stuff!!!  
  
Harry: Hey, Hermione, _I'm_ loaded!  
  
Hermione: Bye Ron! *waves and drives away with Harry*  
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A/N: Heehehe! i thought that was funny, but i dont know how funny it'll be to you if you haven't heard the song. so go check it out (as well as my other fics HINT HINT). so now, you review! and if you don't, Ron's shrill nasal voice will torment you for weeks to come! HEHEHEHHE!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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